Easter

My Precious Little Alexandra,

We missed you so much at Easter. You would have been almost 16 months old and I would have bought you a pretty little Easter dress. Sign. I know you were close by, you have been so good looking after this little peanut.

We had these little Easter bunnies on the table for Easter dinner and made sure that you got a little pink bunny!

Nanny and Grandad also got you this little Easter

Bunny that is sitting on top of your urn, and Mommy, Daddy & Tommy got you this little Giraffe for Easter. We miss you so much!

You are loved and missed EVERY day!

Hugs & Kisses my sweet little love!

Love, Mommy! xoxoxoxo

16 Months

Hello my little Princess,

Today you would be 16 months old. I can only imagine what you would be like. I know you can feel what's going on in my heart - how much I miss you. I sent you some balloons to you today along with 2 Balloons from Tommy's 4th Birthday Party. I know you were there with us, but I can't help but wish you were running around with the kids too.

I do hope you are close. I have just under 2 weeks to go before we meet this new little peanut. You have been such a good big sister making sure this little one is ok. Thank you so much. I feel like I'm scared to be happy - I hate it when people say I must be excited. Of course I can't wait to get this little one home but I'm so anxious - excited doesn't really come to mind. Many seem to think that once this little one is here that it will take away all the pain we have of losing you which is so far from the truth. I had a good cry in the bathroom yesterday, missing you, thinking of you. I know you know I miss you!

Well you are quite the little funny girl. I asked for you to take your balloons right away because it was windy today and I didn't want them being pushed into a tree - well you really did come a get them. I let go of them and whoosh - they were gone!!!!! Good girl. I love you!

You are loved and missed everyday little princess!

Hugs & Kisses!

Love, Mommy! xoxoxoxo

Your Name in the Sand

Alexandra My Little Sweet Pea,

I wanted to post this picture as it's very special. A family over in Australia does this for families who have lost little ones. Your beautiful name in the sand. It's so precious like you, it brings tears to my eyes. We miss you soooo much. I wish you were with us.

You are loved and missed everyday my love.

Hugs & Kisses!

Love, Mommy! xoxoxoxo

Empty space

My precious Alexandra,
I find myself feeling so empty right now - which I guess I wasn't expecting being almost 9 months pregnant now. I just miss you so much, and find myself longing to hold you in my arms, kiss your face, smell you & just love you.
I'm sorry that I'm always asking you to watch over this new little peanut - I'm so scared something will happen. I know you're a great big sister to this peanut, I just can't get rid of this anxiety.
You will always be my little girl sweetie pie.
You are loved & missed everyday!
Hugs & Kisses My Love!
Love, Mommy! xoxoxoxo

15 Months

My Little Princess,
15 Months we have been missing you. The weather is so nice today, I sent you some bright coloured spring balloons. I hope you like them.
I have been slipping into the pit lately and was scared today was going to push me so far down there but thankfully it hasn't. You must be close by. I could cry right now but I know I'm ok. I look at your picture and at times it seems like none of this is real. How could you be gone> How could you not be in my arms? How did this happen? Why did this happen? I know these are questions that will only torment, by they still find their way into my head.
Hope you have a great day today playing with all your angel friends.
You are loved and missed every day my little peanut!
Hugs & Kisses my Princess - just wish I could actually kiss your sweet soft cheek.
Love, Mommy!
xoxoxoxo

My Little Baby Girl

Alexandra,
You will always be my little baby girl. 20 years from now, my baby girl. You know you go with me everywhere I go because you are always in my heart.
I miss you so much and just long for the days where I could hold you, kiss you, take care of you.
I often find myself wondering what you would look like now being just over 1 year old, and I cry because we are missing out on that. I always seem to be crying now.
You are loved and missed everyday my love!
Hugs & Kisses!
Love, Mommy! xoxoxoxo

Just Thinking about you & missing you

My Lovely little Girl,
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and missing you - hoping you are safe and happy - helping all the other little friends you have made celebrate their heavenly birthdays. If there is a way to be more peaceful with all of this please let me know - the pain just seems to always be right around the corner. I don't want to be sad every time I think of you - it's just I miss you and what could have been so so so very much!
You will always be my baby girl and I will always be sending you lots of love!
You are loved & missed everyday my love!
Hugs & Kisses!
Love, Mommy!