8 Months

My Little Peanut Alexandra,
8 Months..........8 Months you've been gone. My heart is still filled with sorrow, tears, regret and just plain sadness. Day by day, moment by moment, one step infront of another. I've been told this, I even tell it to new Mommies of angels that I meet. I don't know what else to do.
I guess time has helped deal with the falls into the pit but the falls still happen. I now try to tell myself - "as long as you are peaceful & safe, I will be ok."
I look at your precious little picture and I ache for you, I have flashbacks of the day I met you. You're so beautiful, so precious, so tiny. I just wish I could have taken you home, seen your eyes, heard your giggle. I hate myself for being so frightened that I didn't even get a picture of me or Daddy holding you. I regret that so much.
So I sit here and cry at the computer thinking of what Tommy was like at 8 months and how you would be like that now. It breaks my heart.
Please come for a visit - I miss you so much and your visits always make me calm, peaceful and give me strength. Daddy needs a visit too - he's missing you so much.
You are loved & missed everyday my peanut!
Hugs & Kisses!
Love, Mommy! xoxoxo