Sweetie Pie Alexandra,
I have been trying to keep the thoughts of you being peaceful and safe in my head and push out the sad ones but sometimes it's just too hard. My feelings of missing you knock me down and I cry at the littlest thing. I feel like a weak broken shell of who I use to be.
I have been short with Tommy this last week and feel like you knew I wouldn't be able to handle two children. Are these thoughts just ones of missing you so much or do they hold weight?? I've been asking you to find that soul to bring to us and let us take home, but I'm scared that this is something that just won't happen.
I need to find a way to be more patient with Tommy and I'm trying to be the best parent I can and at the same time learn to live with being without you. Please send me strength cause sometimes the sadness is just too much.
You are loved & missed everyday my peanut!
Hugs & Kisses!
Love, Mommy! xoxoxo
Friday, August 8, 2008
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2 comments:
Michelley, thank you for your comment on my blog, I too think you're more than ready for that rainbow baby, I think our little sweeties are both taking their time picking the perfect little one for our families...... Please don't for a second doubt your parenting!! You're an excellent mother, and Alexandra knows that you would and will be able to handle two!! We will get our babies one day soon I pray!! God bless you, you are a dear dear friend to me!!
Michelly, this post... in a strange way, gave me strength. As I mourn the loss of my own angel at 16wks, I too have been short with my 2 other kids, and felt I was not good enough to handle 3, and that I deserved this... but when I read you expressing the same thing, it broke my heart and at the same time, helped me to know that is not so. I am not sure, but perhaps it is an answer from our angels. Please know you have touched someone today... and my heart aches for you and your precious Alexandra. Much love to your family... all 5. ~Melissa
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