Trying

My Sweet Little Alexandra,
Just thought I would let you know what's been going through my head lately. These thoughts have left me feeling somewhere in the middle of happy & sad - no man land kind of.
Mommy & Daddy have decided to try to have another baby. I am really hoping that you will help pick this little soul to join our family. I can't even type this without crying and feeling guilty. You know I would never try to replace you - I KNOW it can't be done!!!! I wish you were in my arms right now but I know you understand. We will need lots of strength from you to help us through this.
I'm excited and scared so much to get pregnant again. I had convinced myself that after having you I was DONE! My feelings have changed and I still want Tommy to have a brother or sister. I have heard conversations from other Mommies who have lost their dear babies like I lost you, wanting the next rainbow baby to be the same sex as the one who had to leave, but I don't think I really mind. I will ALWAYS have my little girl. Please just let this little one come home with us, grow up healthy & safe.
So my sweet little baby girl, start looking around for your little brother or sister. I love you & miss you EVERYDAY!!!!!!
Hugs & Kisses my Peanut!!!!!
Love, Mommy! xoxoxo